The Devil Inside
by jojospn
Summary: SPOILERS for all of season 5. Slight AU. Nick had initially agreed to be Lucifer's vessel. But trapped in the angel's body, he soon realizes that he has made a terrible mistake.


**A/N: This is something completely different for me. Someone requested this a long time back (I'm sorry, I can't remember your name) but I felt that I just couldn't find any inspiration. Now, the creative juices seem to be flowing, so here it is! DISCLAIMER: I don't own **_**Supernatural,**_** just borrowing the characters for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy! Warning, there is some dark content, be forewarned.**

**The Devil Inside**

He's felt it. Right from the beginning, from the moment Lucifer's essence rushed through his body (not horrific or painful, as one would have imagined upon being possessed by the Devil, but invigorating, refreshing, like a summer rainstorm) Nick has felt every bullet, burn, stab wound. He could only stand helpless as Lucifer wreaked havoc on any who dared oppose him, or just anyone in general…well, just _because._ He had watched in horror as the archangel manipulated, murdered, taunted…all while claiming that he was really in the right, of course, it was _humanity's_ fault because God wasn't supposed to love humans more than angels. Petty, Nick had thought as he listened to yet another whiny plea as to why the fallen angel was justifying his actions.

Initially, he had been more than willing to become Satan's vessel, of course. How could a loving God have allowed his wife and child to die in such a tragic way? In his dead wife's body, the angel was in fact more than convincing. "People misunderstand me," Lucifer had told him softly (_in her voice, _Nick shuddered at the memory), "call me Satan, and Devil, but do you know my crime? I loved God _too much."_ And he had been convinced, agreed to be Lucifer's vessel, but in fact unaware completely of the consequences. In fact, the first few weeks, Nick had felt that he had made the right choice. He, too, had been cursed, punished for seemingly no reason. For why would a loving Father take away the most precious gift He had given? It was pointless, cruel, like handing the alcoholic a bottle of Jack or an ice cold beer.

Nick had been awake most of those few weeks, completely aware of Lucifer's actions and the consequences therein, but in no way control of his own body. He knows that the demonic omens he is controlling across the globe are killing hundreds of thousands (hell, that his entire plan now involves wiping out the entire planet like one would swat a pesky fly) but can't do a goddamn thing about it. And it made him physically ill to be trapped in his own body, watching helplessly as he watched life as he knew it waste away.

And then, there were the physical trials. For Nick was not truly Lucifer's chosen vessel, but a Plan B of sorts. He had no clue who this Sam Winchester the angel was talking about, but according to he, this young man was supposed to be the one wearing him to the prom. Not him. Not Nick, husband, father, average Joe. And for a while, Nick was pissed. Why was he stuck possessed by goddamn Satan, and not this guy who apparently was no saint to begin with? Yeah, he had agreed to it, but if he had known then…well, guess hindsight is 20/20, as the saying goes.

Every now and then, the Devil let down the wall, so to speak, removed the gag, and Nick was allowed to his own thoughts. Generally this happened at night, when most people (well, other than angels, Nick was soon to discover). Mostly Lucifer found enjoyment from the man's tortured thoughts, which only seemed to solidify Nick's personal opinions of the so called angel and make him regret his decision further. During one of those rare moments of "down time", so to speak, the man reflected on the horrors he had inflicted on so many people in so little time. He grieved when a freak blizzard in Alabama killed over a hundred people in a span of 24 hours; when a child of no more than thirteen, possessed by one of the demons he had risen, murdered her entire family in their sleep before killing herself; when severe drought in the Midwest caused crops to fail and families to lose everything practically overnight. Lucifer had delighted in these things; Nick had been repulsed.

And on this particular night, free (for the time being) of Lucifer's hold, Nick considered just ending it all; put himself out of his misery before he could hurt anyone else. Hell, in a few weeks, a month at the most, his body would be completely destroyed anyways, why not just speed up the process a bit? Nick looked out the window of the downtown flat where he and his "buddy" were staying, thought how easy it would be to just open that window, jump out, rid himself of his curse. He might even be able to see his wife and child again. Though surely they were in Heaven, and his actions, no matter how good the intentions were, were sure to result in a one way ticket downstairs. But even Hell would be better than this; not having control of his mind, body, or even heart…

Slowly Nick made his way to the window, carefully unfastened the lock… he could feel Lucifer return; Nick tried desperately to regain control of his body, fighting with every inch of what was left of his soul.

Lucifer closed the window, locked it. And what little remained of Nick was gone forever.


End file.
